Day: February 5, 2007

Executive Ultra Realistic

Posted on by Andy

ureasample.com:

“Contents of our Executive Ultra Realistic kit:

  • Five inch ultra realistic prosthetic penis (available in 3 skin tones)”

And:

“Residents of Pennsylvania, Arkansas, North Carolina and South Carolina may only purchase this kit minus the clean urine and therefore must choose ‘NO SAMPLE’ from the ‘Select Sample Type’ options box below. Kits are NOT available to residents of New Jersey, Kentucky, Oklahoma and Illinois. If you are from one of the aforementioned states and would like to purchase one of our Executive Ultra Realistic kits and samples then you may have it shipped to a friend or family member in a different state.”

He hates macs

Posted on by Andy

If the ads were really honest, Webb would be standing there with one arm, struggling to open a packet of peanuts while Mitchell effortlessly tore his apart with both hands. But then, if the ads were really honest, Webb would be dressed in unbelievably po-faced avant-garde clothing with a gigantic glowing apple on his back. And instead of conducting a proper conversation, he would be repeatedly congratulating himself for looking so cool, and banging on about how he was going to use his new laptop to write a novel, without ever getting round to doing it, like a mediocre idiot.

Brilliant.

No custodial sentence for torturing a cat to death

Posted on by Andy

Via the BBC: A woman who put her boyfriend’s cat in the washing machine and set it on full cycle has been given a four month suspended sentence. The cat died of heart failure and severe burns.

District judge Andrew Shaw, sitting at Llandudno magistrates’ court, told Hannon it was the worst act of animal cruelty he had dealt with.

So why not impose a custodial sentence? How much worse would it have to get before Andrew Shaw would or could impose one?