User:Andy/Rant/Email Us Through Our Web Site

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Every so often, you will be watching a tv ad, or listening to a radio show, and a voice will come on in a cheesy tone and go:

And if you want any more information on that, just email us through our web site!!!!

Email them. Through their web site. Not “you can leave a message on our web site.” Not, “you can find the email addresses of everyone here on our web site.” No. Email them. Through their web site.

Because as well all know, there is nothing on the Internet apart from web sites, right?

Every time I hear this, it makes me want to reach into the radio or whatever, grab this person by the lower lip, and tattoo the following onto the inside of their mouth:

No, son, you don't want us to email you through your fucking web site, you want us to go and look at your web site and leave some trite message on whatever godforsaken message-board you have on there. And that is fine for the usual class of tard that you have for an audience, but I am NOT ONE OF THEM.

Then the lip can be given a hard enough tug that it can be wrapped over the top of their heads so the pea-brained idiots can never forget the message.

If I actually thought half of them had a brain, I might sit down and explain to them that email is not intarweb. Bulletin boards are not intarweb. Web sites are intarweb, and as long as you understand this, you will not incur my wrath. Dullard.